Deut 30:11-20

I'm struggling with bitterness and heartbroken-ness and downcast-ness but I have no MAJOR complaints. God is good, He will get me through this time of trial. He did a year ago, He did in January and He will once again now. And He will again in 6 months when I'm "retarded" and allow this to happen again. It's a guy -- I have a short term memory, I always think he has changed and will treat me with respect as a sibling in Christ should. [I have to say as a sidenote, though, I have a feeling none of my friends will let me talk to him on a one-on-one basis again (and make sure I hear them rather than wave them off like "I know what I'm doing" as I have done in the recent past) or at least for an extremely long period of time.] And then I get majorly depressed and bitter for 2 or 3 weeks until I forget about what he did and he comes back apologizing.

Last night I had a divine appointment, even though I physically should not have been there with only 2 hours of sleep, at a ladies Bible Study with a friend. I had a meeting near her church till 7 and had no real good reason not to go. Each of us took a set of verses and read then. The set I read was Deut 30:11-20... when I read verse 14, I fought the tears... major, major conviction. Deut 30:14 in the English Standard Version says "14But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it." Though I struggle with the bitterness now, I know reading the word not only brings healing, but keeps me focused on Godly things. The two greatest commands are "love God and love others" and regardless of what people do to you, we are required to love them, no matter what. Yes, I meant to say that two different ways in the same sentence. :) Because that's what God said. This verse gives me encouragement because as long as I'm reading God's word every single day, I CAN and WILL overcome the bitterness, brokenness and downcastness.

This verse also reminds me of Romans: When we were still enemies of God, He sent His son to die for us! I think of two friendships I have lost recently (neither was my doing). It is hard forgiving because they don't realize they are wrong and therefore will probably never ask for forgiveness. But God calls us to love our enemies (NonChristians) AND our friends (Christians). Romans reminds me why I need to forgive people who have wrongs me, Deut 30:14 gives me the avenue (the Bible) to be able to do so.