Keep Moving Forward

This was originally posted on my Xanga site on April 23, 2007:

I'm not a quitter, but I just had to quit my job after 5 1/2 years. Way too much stress for me to deal with to stay there any longer. Talk about instant relief when I decided that last week. I went into work today and handed the lady in HR my badge and my doctor notes showing I was really off for medical reasons last week (doc was worried and insisted I took time off). She looked at me like "What is going on." I only said, "You were a witness to the conversation between [no names mentioned] and me and she said for me to think about what I need to do and I've decided what I need to do."

I went to Arizona with my parents and while we were there, mom and I went to see "Meet the Robinsons" - the newest Disney cartoon. I got a little annoyed, probably because I was waiting for the line that I had heard from it which was "Keep Moving Forward" from my dad who had seen it with my sister and her kids. I felt ridiculous at age 30 walking into a cartoon movie with my mother who is 62, but it was worth seeing it just for the line and ultimately the theme of the entire movie. Bottom line of the movie is whatever Louis did, failed. A guy from the future appeared and throughout the movie kept saying to Louis "As my dad, Cornelius Robinson says, 'Keep Moving Forward' because you will never learn from your successes, only your failures." There was a twist to it, but I can't share what it is -- you will just have to see it. It is definitely worth sitting through it to see the ending.

A friend, Kami, sent me an email today and told me that the low feelings are conquered by sharing what God is doing in my life.... and just like a sermon I heard on Psalm 13 by Pastor Pete, she's right....

The theme of the movie sat very well with me -- keep moving forward. I can't help but think of Paul in Philippians 3.... verses 12-14 say "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Funny thing is that it isn't even 4 hours since I turned my stuff into my former job and I'm not even looking back. And I won't. I won't shed another tear, even though deep down at times I feel like I have wasted the past 10 months of my life.... I should have quit 10 months ago rather than transferred departments. But no more tears. Really. I have no reason to because I know God has a better job for me. Something that is far beyond anything I can comprehend. Yeah, just like Cornelius Robinson says, "Keep Moving Forward".

I talked to another friend yesterday and she was saying how in the past few months I have made a lot of huge decisions and she has seen a transformation -- before, she said that I would burst into tears and feel totally hopeless and feel that nothing is going to improve the situation at hand. But now, I make decisions and I'm confident in the decisions and how proud she is of me for changing and being so confident. We both started crying. Geez Sara, my eyes are welling up with tears still Thanks a lot. ha ha But you know ? It's true.

And the horrible depression I have dealt with? I think of Paul. He says in 2 Corinthians 12 ==> "...there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." That is an amazing truth to ponder.