I'm not going to lie -- I haven't been going to church. If I don't go this week, it will be three weeks and to be quite honest, I'll probably force myself to not go - just to see. *cynical grin*
I could have gone to a church close to home, but where am I gonna go... Saddleback? I may as well just not go if that's the case -- it's not like Christ dying on the cross was even mentioned at the Good Friday service I went to. So, I haven't gone to church... I've been ticked at two people, intimidated by quite a few and feel entirely handicapped by everyone else... though admittedly indirectly.
During this LOA or AWOL or whatever you want to call it that I've been a part of, I decided I would try a small group at another unnamed church... to which I went to last night. I wanted to scream! I walked in to hearing how the guy whose house it is at went out on Sat and drank heavily!!!! Then, when the leader came, the guy used a not so Christian term of endearment to the leader. It was definitely not meant as a put down, but not the type of language you should be hearing or using at a Christian small group. Needles to say, I'm not going back to said small group at unnamed church. Oddly enough, the study last night was on conflicts. Great discussion, but the cursing really turned me off. So -- I sent an email this morning to one of the folks I'm mad at... as a result I am sure he will share the info about being mad at the other one as well as the intimidation factor. But, whatever. I'll deal with it when the time comes.
These verses kept me up most of the night... Not just because of said small group at unnamed church. Also a result of what I've been feeling.
Galatians 5: 16-21 ==> 16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law. 19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Hatred is a strong word, I don't have any hatred towards anyone... but it has been anger. And envy? It's been horrible -- worse than it has been for a while. The only thing I can think of to combat this is Galatians 5:24-25: 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. Another thing that comes to mind is daily Bible study. Starting tonight, regardless of how tired I am after my new weights workout routine.
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You know another verse that strikes me about said group at unnamed church? Galatians 1:6-9: "6I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! 9As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!"
I hope we see you at church today - I am praying for you.
Anonymous (though I'm sure I know who you are),
I was hoping to make it to church tonight, but while lifting the box of bulletins from the car to the house to stuff them, I think I pulled a muscle. I am so glad Dave was there when I went to drop them off at noon so he could bring them to the usher tables. I am in much pain right now, I'm waiting till it cools off though to sit in the jacuzzi.
I hope by the AM with lots of Aleve and ice or heat that it will be enough for me to even want to leave my bed. :(
I confess ... it was me ... I am anonymous - at least I was. I hope your back is feeling better. I will be praying for you.
Back/shoulder was worked out by going to Yoga (can't say the same about my calf muscles - I forgot I even had those!) on Sunday and last night putting BenGay on it. It's still very tender and I will probably loosen it up in the pool and jacuzzi tonight at 24 Hour Fitness though I know deep down I should be at my meeting tonight.
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